The winter weather has finally arrived here in Kentucky, even after all of our praises for the sun and warmth to stay. Each year that winter comes I find myself resisting and being wary of its presence, and this year in particular has beckoned a new relationship with the cold, as I've moved into a home that shifts and moves more distinctly with the weather. One can feel the change in temperature of even a few degrees outside, as the home's heat is radiated forth from a wood burning stove, and who's floors have warped and shifted with the changing earth below. Being aware of this distinction prior to moving I was quite nervous anticipating the cold winter months, and now that it's arrived, I've been calling on all of my strengthens to get through this time and enjoy it, instead of hallowing away under the covers pretending I am somewhere warm and sunny. I find winter always reveals certain shadows and nuances of my personality, ones I often thought were gone or have been transformed, (read: those obtrusive thoughts that tell you nothing is right in the world and everyone is out to get you), but the cold comes around humbling me and reminding me there is still much to work on and welcome in more fully into my life.
So when the cold came blaring its brash, ever-clear head right at me a couple of days ago, I fell to the never-ending moans and groans of it's sharpness for a bit, and then, noticing this pattern something shifted. Instead of avoiding all the pain and grumbles within me of the cold and all that it's harshness brings up, I acknowledge it. Looked at it right in the eyes. And with that courage, the sharpness of it melted away a bit. I felt a determination, a fire rise up within me, that no, I've worked too hard and too long to let this thing of cold continually get me down, having to take all of spring and summer to climb out of the hole that I would inevitably dig for myself each winter, that this time I'd had enough. And so with that, this idea was born in me. 'I am going to use this challenging week where the temperatures are more fridge like than house-like inside, as a way to hone and cultivate strength', I said to myself. And then I asked myself this question and waiting for the words to arise within me, How can I move through the week with the greatest strength and resilience?
And the words came:
Support from friends
Stay curious
Journal
Then silence.
Okay, so what does all of that mean, and how exactly is journaling going to keep me warm?!! But just as suddenly as the ideas arose, the counter to the objections did too, in a strong felt sense of warmth and joy emanating from my heart when envisioning journaling, and really the idea for this blog!, and just the friends to reach out to who would delight in ramblings on the cold. Continuing to question and wait for more clarity in what you've been given further instills the listening practice and insight into how these activities or practices may be of aid to you. You may even see a favorite activity in a new light, like dancing in the kitchen whilst doing dishes, instead of simply while listening to music or being in space where dancing is encouraged. In this, you are forming a new relationship with dancing itself, and weaving in an activity you love to perhaps another part of the day, AND keeping warm! That's the thing with asking the inner most part of you for guidance, you must be open and ready for the answers that come, they often are other-wordly to the mind, or at least mine! And I believe that is the key piece, in staying open and curious when approaching new or potentially challenging, or strengthening as I like to reframe, situations. Staying open and being willing to go through them. So that is what this week's worth of writings is dedicated to. Staying open, curious and observant to the cold and its' messages - cause I'm sure there will be lots of them! Ready to see what they are?! I am! ❄️❄️❤️